Remember when your parents dragged you to go see your local dance theater’s production of The Nutcracker, and you sat there bored out of your skull thinking to yourself “this would be so much more awesome if this was a 3D movie directed by the guy who gave the world Tango and Cash, and it featured Giant Mole Machines and rat-faced Nazis and helicopter gunships and Nathan Lane?”

Behold! A Christmas miracle! (And to answer the question posed in this post’s title: yes. Yes it will.)