Here are some gems from my five year old son, all uttered over the course of the past few weeks. He is like the Buddha, or perhaps a pint-sized version of that guy in the Dos Equis ads.

“If you drink too much caffeine, you’ll turn into a moth.”

“I want to travel to Italy. And Ohio.”

“My favorite kind of guitar is the air guitar.”

“A woodpecker can’t peck stale bread.”

“Once you’re done being a baby, you’re old.”

“Most people like the white string cheese. I like the orange string cheese.”

“If you don’t have a penis, then you have a vagina.”

“When you breathe in air, you also breathe in farts.”

“Superman wears his underwear on the outside…because he’s Superman.”

“People eat people food, but dogs eat dog food AND people food.”

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